- Use your car.
In a city with more than half a million inhabitants and another approximate half million commuters from the surrounding areas, you should make sure to own and use a car. If more people would use public transportation, what would the roads be built for?
- Park where you feel like it
Just because there are designated parking lots does not mean you have to restrict yourself to them. If all parking space is taken or too far from where you want to go, use other options: the sidewalk or the bike lane are convenient alternatives. Park where you feel like it and disregard the rules – Germany is a free country after all, right?
- Come close.
Other people in traffic usually are annoying, taking up the space you want to use. Therefore it is of paramount importance to clearly show your position. You can do that by coming close, very close to cyclists and pedestrians. They should smell the warm dirty air from your car and feel your lights on their back. It is important to show cyclists and pedestrians who the strongest on the road is: you, protected by the metal of your car.
- Make your car heard.
Another tip for showing other road users their place is by making your car heard. When the traffic light switches to green – no, orange already – start your car with as much noise as possible. You want to turn heads and look into frightened faces – from the cyclist right before you just as much as the grandma trying to manage to get over the road before the light turns red for her. And even the people working in the nearby offices should know that you, the King of the Road, are about to cruise around Dizzle.